Can I be a person too?

As a few of you know I am currently working at a low security correctional facility for women and there's been a few issues (well, more than a few) that have popped into my mind since I've started. I am actually an instructor and not a disciplinary figure at this facility so I really don't know much about the aspects of correctional life other than what I hear from my clients or what I see around me. However, one of the issues I've notices is in regards to client's romantic lives. Which is basically, you can have a romantic relationship but sex and porn are a no unless you want to serve more time. Much like any institution, romantic and sexual experiences are extremely limited for clients. This reminded me a lot of a thesis of a fellow (past) master's student who wrote about the regulated/limited sexual experiences of persons with a mental handicapped due to institutions dehumanizing them and treating them as un-sexualized beings. So, the parallels are obviously there. The dehumanization of felons and also stripping away the idea of them as sexual person.

However, it's strange isn't it? Prison rape, prison fantasies, conjugal visits and of course the idea of gay for stay is always present. So unlike handicapped peoples, who in all honesty are very much overlooked as sexual beings (I know I certainly never thought of it before that thesis presentation), people in prisons are often subject to sexualization but they have to act as nonsexual beings while in prison. So what's the point in restricting sexual activities of inmates? Or in my case women who live in halfway houses. Isn't the point of correctional facilities to reintegrate? Isn't sex and romance a part of normal life? Why are we completely restricting the romantic relationships for people who are isolated from their families and loved ones? The phrase gay for stay is there for a reason though isn't it? Because it happens.

Of course not every relationship is consensual and often times in prisons coercion, rape, protection and intimidation often play a role in relationships. However, isn't the penalty a bit harsh for people who are in consensual relationships? There are heavy prices for these women who engage in sexual relations with one another and get caught. They often have to serve more prison time and a sexual assault or misconduct sentence. It seems like an Orange is the new Black episode where the warden is so homophobic that the ladies are continuously punished for acting on romantic urges. But why are these people, who we know are sexual beings, asked to become dehumanized in these aspects? I know this is true of many other parts of their lives as well, such as being told when to eat, what to wear and where to be, but sex is often over looked.

I'm unsure what my stance is on the subject. I know that power dynamics in relationships within institutions are very damaging and that even without the power dynamics there is always the awkwardness or bitterness that might arise from a break up but these things also occur without sex as a trigger. So is that really enough reason to restrict people's romantic lives? I mean, the same bitterness and power struggles could arise for any reason. So why the big restrictions which do little more than make these people's lives a little bit more miserable, sometimes even uprooting them from one facility to another and preventing them from ever possibly getting out of the system. Are these people's lives so easily manipulated just because they're in prison? Anyways, these are just my thoughts from work. I'd love to hear anyone else's.  And please do tell me if I have anything wrong. I know that I'm not an expert.